It isn't really my memory, but it is mostly reminiscent of deja vu. It's just something I know, somehow. The feeling is completely foreign and at the same time so very eerily familiar. It is an ephemeral glimpse, a chance to see into the life and mind of someone else, rather than myself. And for that moment we have a connection stronger than the obvious, purely physical tie.
This altered deja vu can be very disconcerting. When it happens it becomes hard for me to tell the difference between myself and them, or to remember who I am, even. Sometimes it is necessary for me to say my name aloud until it makes sense.
closer.
Jamais vu is referred to as the opposite of deja vu. Essentially, past occurrences and present perceptions have no connection and things become unfamiliar or unrecognizable. Common in seizure disorders as well as dissociative disorders, jamais vu can give the feeling of living in a dream where reality is utterly nonexistent. Most embarrassingly it will occur for me mid-conversation, and I cannot recognize whomever I have been talking to. Often in these circumstances I have to fight the urge to simply walk away.
This happens to me quite frequently, and every time it feels literally as if I am stepping out of my mind and am on my way into someone else's. There is no recovery from it; when I cannot relate to anything around me it is a sure sign that I am about to dissociate.
this. is. not. me.
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