I just finished yet another mental hospital stint, missing my "two week goal" by a few days. However it really helped, gave perspective on my reality to both me and the one i share my life with. There in Vista's Doctor's office I was informed of some very alarming news. One word. Pregnant. How can I possibly get through a pregnancy when I couldn't even get through a normal day of taking care of just me? ( and five of my buddies who tag along) All these things were racing through my mind, I wasn't given any medication the first full day there and was not present for any of it. It wasn't until i signed a form stating I was planning on terminating a pregnancy was I given my meds and started the process of recovery. again.
I'm not going to lie, I was going to have an abortion. I thought that I couldn't handle a pregnancy, and while i'm only ten weeks along, i find I'm handling it much better, now that i know the support I will need I will get. A tremendous outpouring from my family, friends, and my other half has left me almost dumbfounded with the almost overwhelming amount of positive attention that I've never really gotten before.
And what will I do about my peculiar situation of sharing my body with not only a baby but five seperate people? I will take it one day at a time. Accept the help I'm offered. Focus completely on me and what it means to be healthy. A desperate situation could very easily turn into a life changing positive one.
i love you cousin. when i found out i was pregnant with my daughter chloe, i found that i began to think of her as my solace- the only light in the darkness i had in my life in that period.
ReplyDeleteeverything happens for a reason. getting pregnant, for everything to line up, is a miracle. and i hope you find the baby to be your solace.
you are a strong, amazing, gorgeous young woman. i am so proud of you and love you.
like your family, you have the ability to outpour tons of love- and that is what will make you a wonderful mother.
Sometimes I think my daughter saved my life- Chloe literally means, "an ever growing green spout," bcs of the change she began in my life.
Hugs!
Love, Mary
I love you, Sister!!! I am so proud of you!!! Remember that I am always here for you, no matter what!!!
ReplyDeleteAn exemplary amount of bravery and commitment has already been shown and the support you receive shall carry you through. Bravo! I'd like to know more about (what I am led to assume is) this possible multiple personality disorder, or whatever else is going on that further complicates the inevitably complex lifestyle change you're undertaking. Congratulations, stand by your decision, keep fighting, hold on to your support group tightly, and experience something truly challenging and equivalently beautiful!
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