Leave the bourbon on the shelf

tic toc goes the clock
nice ring says the queen
no matter how you put it
were still doing the same damn thing.

There's an interesting dynamic going on with my alters right now. I'm switching alot, I'm not losing time but i'm definitely switching more than I think most people around me realize. A few weeks ago pandora's box was opened, and now there's no stopping it. I'm not uncomfortable with it at all. It doesn't feel bad. It's not scary. I'm embracing it. It's relaxing, to press pause on yourself so someone else can have a turn.

Reality swirls and twirls around you, the ticking of a clock becomes an unbearable tremor. You long, don't even know what exactly you're longing for, only that the feeling is there. After so long of disasociating life in real time drags on and on. It's foreign and uncomfortable.

"You gave me hyacinths first a year ago;
They called me the hyacinth girl."
— Yet when we came back, late, from the Hyacinth garden,
Your arms full, and your hair wet, I could not
Speak, and my eyes failed, I was neither
Living nor dead, and I knew nothing,
Looking into the heart of light, the silence.

"Do

You know nothing? Do you see nothing? Do you remember
Nothing?"

I remember

Those are pearls that were his eyes.
"Are you alive, or not? Is there nothing in your head?"